Monday, June 6, 2011

Ian Summers.  I don't think he knew what hit him, honestly.

I decided to take things slow.  Started with a mild tranquilizer to break the ice.  Introduced him to my good buddy Mr. Fork.  I even brought a nice little appetizer to his quivering lips (with the help of Mr. Fork, of course) and well. . . I don't think he was much of a fan of Yeux de Summers.  

See, we hadn't even made it to the main course and the boy was moaning like a young beluga whale that's just found out his girl's been seeing the local porpoise for a daily blowhole scrubbing.  This was obviously rather troublesome so I did what any sensible individual would do:  broke his nose and positioned his body so that the resulting bleeding would drain into his throat.  He was so busy trying to cough after that that he didn't have much time for his incessant moaning.

After he stopped making sounds altogether I tried my hand at a bit of arts and crafts.  I painted a smile on his computer monitor in warm blood and carved this message into his back:  "The Tall Faceless Guy Sends His Warmest Regards.  <3"

Sunday, June 5, 2011

And thus I am here

'Sup everyone? I'm back for now, finally got my shit finished, and I'll be posting 10x more, just watch me. Ken and stormy are acting like six year olds on youtube giggling away, those two make me wanna barf sometimes. Anyway, that salesman they keep talking about? I have no fucking clue who that is, haven't even seen him, if memory serves me best, I think they're both just losing it.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

I was going to title this "Sorry guys," then I realized I don't give a fuck

Things have been a little weird lately. I don't know if Stormy just got in my head, or what, but I've been hearing slightly off noises at night, and I've been seeing weird shadows, too. The worst part is the dreams, though... I can't remember anything about them, except dread. It doesn't help that Ken is starting to see this bald guy everywhere. Even changed his blops emblem to him. I think it's just an elaborate joke to freak me out. Ken would do that...

On a happier note, Ken seems to be doing a bit better. (At least in person) And school is almost over with. 2 weeks, approximately. It's hella late this year because we had about 11 snow days. It's crazy as shit, but whatcha gonna do.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Portal 2: A monologue

Let me start out by saying, I haven't finished the game yet. I'm currently on the part where white gel is first introduced.

With that out of the way, I'm going to say, this might just be the best game I have ever played. I was a pretty big fan of Portal the first. Its atmosphere tottered between quirky science humor, and intense puzzles, and this game is that, times about one hundred. Between Wheatley's sense of "wit" and glad0s'... unusual new mood, it all just fits. The dialogue is seamless and flows brilliantly.

The puzzles themselves are a step beyond. A few of them so far have actually taken me around 15 minutes to complete (which, if you knew me, is an eternity). Every new aspect feels... well... new. From the first time you get light bridges, to the first aerial faith plate, to the first time you see blue gel. It all feels new, and you feel like you're actually learning how to do something instead of just fucking around for a solution.

I'll type more on this later. A quick final note: Ken, if that business man keeps following you, I've got your back. I've been itching for a fight lately anyway...

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother fuckin' mother fuckers fucking whoobity doo.

Been a while, internet/two people who read this. My life has been hard and heavy with finals studying and final papers and a whole bunch of other bullshit nonsense.

After this week though, shit will get regular and back to your daily normal programming. We thank you for your cooperation in this rough time.

Monday, April 18, 2011

"If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans"

Been a while. I don't have much time, unfortunately. Gotta get ready for our bi-monthly Soul Calibur tournament.

Ken won't see it coming. I switched my main from Nightmare to Amy. He's about to get his shit wrecked.

Still don't like this whole Stormy thing... Kids disappearing? What is her problem? I haven't noticed any kids gone. But then again, I haven't gone into a coma either. Funny how these things work, huh?

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Achievement unlocked: Puked all over yourself

I love Ken to death, I really do, but this whole "touchy feely" romanticist shit is retarded.

First kiss, eh buddy? Probably your last with a face like that!

Anyway, not much has been happening with me. Bought STALKER: Call of Pripyat, which is a fun as hell game. Not as good as SoC in my opinion, but the experience is still young.

Playing through God Hand again, lately. Such a fucking awesome game. Seriously. Go buy it, right now. No joke. It is so much fun.

Anyone miss Diablo II? That style of game, I mean. Fallout and Fallout 2 are also in that genre. The old(?) games that focus more on gameplay than any other factor. Just a thought.

Been watching a lot of creepy videos and reading a lot of creepypastas lately. Just been in one of those moods where being scared shitless seems appealing. I'm sure you guys know how it is.

It occurs to me that no one reads this yet, so I'm typing this for some sick self-gratification. That is a weird thing to think about, but oh well. Helps me keep my mind together, I suppose.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Intelligenti pauca

It's Latin, by the way.

What is up with Ken and Stormy posting all this personal shit? I just don't get it. I realize that no one gives a fuck who I am. The only reason you come here at all is because you're interested in VIDYA GAMAN.

I beat VVVVVVV today. Vini Vidi Vici was a bitch of an ordeal to do. Now for flipped mode...

Bought MvC3 today. My team is currently Wesker/Sentinel/Wolverine. Game is fun as hell. I recommend it if you like fighters.

Speaking of fighters, BlazBlue Continuum shift. Not really my cup of tea, artwise, (too anime-ish) but a fun as shit game. Hazama is my current main.

Now that that nerdiness is out of the way, I went on an MSPA binge lately. My only thoughts: GOD DAMN YOU JACKSPERS NOIRLECROW.

Ian, signing out folks.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Lex talionis

Ken thinks he's all that. I know he's an idiot, though. He seems to forget I can read his blog posts. Defenses: Active.

Went over to Stormy's house, a while ago. (Side note: I really hope Stormy is a nick name. If not, what kind of cruel sadistic parents brought THAT name into the world?) I brought over my xbox for some bonding time, but Ken and her were lovey dovey the whole time. It makes me sick. A storm(y?) fast approacheth.

Short post this time, but it's all good in the hood, right?

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Horror vacui,,,

Finally. Back at my computer, where I can make a proper post.

It's been a couple days, so I think I can mention this now. Ken is an ultra-dick. You know how most people just play stupid jokes for April Fools day? Not him. Oh no. He's too good for all of that.

Tiny bit of backstory, I've always been a bit of an agoraphobe. I'm not afraid, per se, but wide open places unsettle me.

Anyway, he knows this, and come around 11pm, I hear a ratta tat tat on my window. I ignore it, because fuck that shit, I was about to prestige. But it was incessant. So I figure, enough of this shit, right? If it's some bullshit monster, I can take it. I walk out into my back yard, see the usual skitter here and there, and decide to investigate further. I walk a little ways into this field that isn't far from my house, and BAM. Fucking Ken in a bigfoot costume out of nowhere. Scared the shit out of me. (not literally)

If you're reading this, you asshole, this is not over. This just means war.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Can you hear the wedding bells?

I sure can. Little ol' Ken has found his Barbie. I just hope that this doesn't distract him from the important things in life. Like Black Ops.

Side note, played VVVVVVV today. Shit was awesome. Sure do love me a platforman game.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Cetera desunt...

Hello there! For now, this is just a skeleton of a blog, but it’ll get there eventually! My name is Ian Summers, and my best bro is Ken Rivers. We always get our Black Ops on. (Protip: He sucks) Anyway, just getting accustomed to this thing!